So this is a bit of a different type of post today.
Earlier on this year I had quite a bit going on in my life and as a result my mind was constantly on the go with all sorts of things going round and round in my head. When I find myself getting a little overwhelmed I find it really useful to just write it all down, and today I found the below post hiding in my drafts. Looking back this must have been just before I was about to start my teacher training and I remember feeling all sorts of emotions! When I found it this morning my immediate thought was just to delete it and start something new but then as I read it through, I really felt like I wanted to remember and share what is I was feeling back then because I’m now a week out the other side and it feels SO great. So here it is…
So I’m feeling deep today and I wanted to share something that I have been sitting on for a while. For some time I have been feeling like something has been missing. Yes, it’s probably that beautiful town house down the road I have been stalking on right move, yes it’s probably that beautiful cute faced pooch I see nearly everyday in Brockwell park and yes it’s probably winning the lottery and booking that once in a lifetime holiday to the Maldives. All of these things are missing from my life but I’m not sure they would fill this hole.
I have gone round and round in circles with it and have nearly always wound up on the door step of ‘the need to to help others’. I have always been very aware of how self indulgent us humans are. I have said before, I feel like I live a very privileged life but I am yet to have actually done anything about sharing that privilege. I have talked to my other half a lot about wanting to volunteer at a Homeless Kitchen, or running a ridiculously long distance to raise money for a charity, or adopting a rescue pup when the time is right, but I have never done anything about it. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe because I’m lazy and it’s not just going to be handed to me on a plate? because I don’t know where I would start? Probably all of the above, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Before Christmas I was invited to a yoga training course workshop by one of my local studios and I thought why not, it would be a great way to meet the rest of the team and learn more about yoga. It was a fantastic session and really got me thinking about where I see myself in the next couple of years. Yoga was already part of my life but I had never actually thought about taking it to the next level, to teach. I must admit the first thing that came to my mind was doubt; doubt of my ability, doubt of my discipline to actually make it through another training course, doubt I would ever actually be able to make it happen with work and holiday days. I decided to do some more research on the course and I couldn’t help but love what I saw, so for the next couple weeks I went back and forth between my heart and my head. One day I caught myself on impulse and sent confirmation for my enrolment to the HQ, I then very quickly paid the first instalment to make sure I couldn’t back out and then it was done. The decision was made.
Six months down the line having finished my training and just about settling into my role as fully qualified Yoga Teacher (I still can’t quite believe it!!), I realise giving something back to people is a huge part of what drew me towards my teacher training, because of how it helped me over the last few years. Yoga for me has never been just a physical thing or a way to work out. For some people it is just that, and that’s great, but for me it has been a discipline, an opportunity to learn and most importantly a space to share and connect. Inviting others to offer themselves this space and self reflection, is what makes teaching so attractive to me and I hope to be able to offer all of this and more in my own classes over the next few months 🙂 watch this space!